Ooooo Below the belt.

I'm here right now trying to find out what happened to me. I think something's wrong. 20 minutes ago, my Ex deleted all my testomonials to her. Now its been over a year already and you'd think everything would be okies right? Wrong, my god it hit me like a SLEDGEHAMMER to the chest. My heart actually physically hurt. And i got so upset it was unbelieavable. There is no bloody rational explaination as far as i am concerned. It just hurts damnit and I wish it would stop. Maybe she needed closure or some other random thing or whatever those people who deal with relationships say. I don't know, it just seems wrong somehow. Why did she want to wipe out an old memory? Was it because we weren't worth remembering? Was it because i was an embarrassment? Why?

Is this my ego talking? sigh* my mind is everywhere, sigh* so confused.

I don't know whats wrong. Don't really know.

I'm so tired really, i just wish i could curl into a ball and when i wake up, i won't have a past any longer and i won't remember a thing except who i was right then. Then again they say pain is your only identity and i believe its the only thing that defines life. Ugh* if this post sounds confusing it's because i'm rambling.

It hurts when it shouldn't.

It stops now.

Cheers,

Zach


ADD ON. 30th MAY: I realised at the end of the day I think i got upset because in a way its a form a rejection and if it hadn't been a person important to me it wouldn't have mattered. I spoke to my mum about this(thank God for mum's they seem to know what's best or what's wrong =) ) as well as my darling (not as understanding but not too bad either) and i guess it's not really an issue anymore. So problem solved people =)

Clear Skies.